confused, but starting to get through the fog…

I have sooo mixed feelings right now.

First of all, I had a great week! I had fun, I had work, I’ve created my plan for the next half year, and I’m following it up already. I have started a new course related to my work, and I’m continuously meeting new, inspiring people. So all is great, isn’t it?

Well, I feel like, but there are always distracting factors. Like some of my partners don’t deliver upon their promises, some of my customers want to change their mind all the time, I have challenges everyday. I think the biggest challenge right now is to keep myself on track. But I do, so I’m proud

I’ve started a new workout called Calanetics. Do you know it? Well, I didn’t, but it is really great. It works. It is really shaping my body I feel more energized and I fit into some old, favourite skirts and jeans, so I like it. I’ve started it about 3-4 weeks ago with my leader, Kata, and we both feel better. Ok, to be honest, after the first 2 occasions, we were about to die from feeling stiff, but now, it’s better. I also want to swim about twice a week. I hope I can fit it into my daily routine

Why am I confused (as I wrote it in the title)? I really would like to write about it, but I’ve gotta go now!

Cheers

I don’t want to talk about it…

It was a hard day for my ego

Hopefully I’m on the way of beating my individualism, my stubbornness and all my negative habbits, and turning them into something positive. I feel like I’m too practical in a way that just makes hard to be cool, be silly, be not sooo serious.

On the other hand I’m still not precise and practical enough.

How is that?

Let’s not answer this question today. I’m just waiting for inputs from you!

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.”

/Mahatma Gandhi/

I feel loved

I’ve got new inspiration today. I’ve just got a hand-written letter from a really important person in my life. She feels great, she is alright, and wrote me some really important messages to keep in mind:

First of all: Take care of my thoughts! Because thoughts become your attitude, attitude becomes you values, values become your actions. With your thoughts you’re actually creating your life… This is really interesting and I believe true. But sometimes I forget about it. I shouldn’t.

Second of all: If you seek love from outside that means you don’t get enough love and appreciation from the most important person in your life – YOU!… So how is that? Isn’t it shocking? Have you ever asked this question from yourself that wether you love and accept yourself unconditionally? With me, the tone is on the “unconditional” part. There are some things in me I cannot cope with, and working constantly on changing them. But I’ve started to realize, that I simply need to accept them. That is the most important. Without that I’ll never be happy… … and I will be, cause I’ve promised it to myself.

Third of all: Always act in a way to support something, not be against someting… Why do you think it is important? I’ve just found an answer: Because if you’re against something, you think about it all the time, you focus on it, and you’ll never find the solution for that, because you’ll always see only the problem. Solution is on the other side. I didn’t have problems with that, cause I was in a likely environment. But now, I have to give it forward to my new collegues and my co-workers. I want positive people around me and in my team. This is gonna be a selection criteria for my team

These three messages I’ve found very important. She gave some other advice as well, told me about her fantastic life and persuaded me to keep on doing what I’m doing. Having her trust and support, I’m gonna achieve what I’ve planned. Having her unconditional confidence in me gives me power and persistence. I thank her everything here, again. It’s so great to have her at my back!

I won’t hesitate…

Oh, yes, hesitating is the cause of all my problems. Not acting in the given time, and then trying to avoid all the consequenses… that’s a huge mistake. The worst I can ever do. Still, I did, sometimes. But I’ve learned now, how it works. I’ve learned to act NOW! So I do.

I’m drinking one coffee after another. I feel damn tired. Today’s running was exhausting, and the day is not yet over. I will have an analysis later, and a meeting. All this in tip-top business look and high heels … it’s just not my favourite sport But stop complaining! I’ve chosen this way!

My weekend was amazing! I’ve been to Győr, to a seminar. It was very useful cause I’ve just learnt some techniques to build better relationships with my customers. I love these seminars, cause I always meet new, interesting people, and make new friends. We learn a lot, but we’re also having fun!

I’ve watched the movie Fighting, yesterday. It was OK. Handsome leading actor, good characters, great fights, love and romance, but the story itself was a bit poor. I mean, I liked it, I just had the feeling at the end, that “I’m missing something.” Anyway, it was a nice attempt, and was perfect for Sunday night!

That’s it for now. I go and finish my day. And I finish strong today! Have fun guys!

Poem

I’ve just got this from a great friend and thought to share with you:

ITHACA

As you set out for Ithaca
hope your road is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
angry Poseidon – don’t be afraid of them:
you’ ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians, Cyclops,
wild Poseidon – you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope your road is a long one.
May there be many summer mornings when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you enter harbours you’re seeing for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind -
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to learn and go on learning from their scholars.

Keep Ithaca always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you’re destined for.
But don’t hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you’re old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaca to make you rich.

Ithaca gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you wouldn’t have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
and this is the meaning of Ithaca.

Author : Konstantinos Petrou Kavafis

After an amazing weekend

I’ve just spent an incredible weekend with my “Big family”. We got together at our place, had BBQ, had fun all Saturday. It was energizing, peaceful, lovely. I could talk to my uncle, my grandparents, my nieces, my aunts, and I could realize how amazing people are around me. My “Big family” (not only parents, but all the others too) are so inspiring, positive (almost everytime ), and motivating people. Of course, my family has it’s troubles too, but I always got energized after I talk to them. They motivate me in a way, nobody else is going to. Of course they’re driving me crazy about getting a “safe” and regular job, with a regular life…blah-blah-blah…, but they always strive to help me in all ways. They are patient with me, forgive my mistakes and ensure that everything is going to be OK.  So I love them a lot They give me a nice and peaceful back up. I hope I value it enough! I want to! Because when I’m with them, I feel that everything is better, and everything is safe.

I didn’t achieve what I’ve planned for this month in the business. I’m a bit disappointed, but I know where are the mistakes, how to do it differently. So I’ve learned from it. I just need to take a bigger risk, and persist. August is gonna be fantastic, and I’m just gonna be promoted again

That’s it for now! Have an amazing week! Just like me